1. Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. 2. You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
3. When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.
4. I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
5. All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
6. Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.
7. A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.
8. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
9. I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
10. A man's kiss is his signature.
12. I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
13. A woman in love can't be reasonable - or she probably wouldn't be in love.
14. Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain.
15. Don't keep a man guessing too long - he's sure to find the answer somewhere else.
16. It isn't what I do, but how I do it. It isn't what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.
17. A hard man is good to find.
18. An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.
19. Love thy neighbor - and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.
20. I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
22. Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
23. Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.
24. I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
25. Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
26. Any time you got nothing to do - and lots of time to do it - come on up.
27. I like a man who's good, but not too good - for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.
28. His mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork.
29. He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
30. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
32. He who hesitates is a damned fool.
33. Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
34. Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.
35. Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.
36. A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's subtraction.
37. When women go wrong, men go right after them.
38. Personality is the glitter that sends your little gleam across the footlights and the orchestra pit into that big black space where the audience is.
39. Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired.
40. The score never interested me, only the game.
42. It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.
43. It takes two to get one in trouble.
44. She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
45. Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.
46. I speak two languages, Body and English.
47. I only have "yes" men around me. Who needs "no" men?
48. To err is human, but it feels divine.
49. Don't marry a man to reform him - that's what reform schools are for.
50. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
52. Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.
53. I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported.
54. If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.
55. Right now I think censorship is necessary; the things they're doing and saying in films right now just shouldn't be allowed. There's no dignity anymore and I think that's very important.
56. I've been in more laps than a napkin.
57. I always say, keep a diary and someday it'll keep you.
58. It ain't no sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don't break any.
59. It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.
60. One and one is two, and two and two is four, and five will get you ten if you know how to work it.
62. I'm a woman of very few words, but lots of action.
63. Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.
64. I enjoyed the courtroom as just another stage but not so amusing as Broadway.
65. Too much of a good thing can be taxing.
66. Look your best - who said love is blind?
67. I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.
68. Virtue has its own reward, but no sale at the box office.
69. I've been things and seen places.
70. I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them.
72. I'd like to see Paris before I die. Philadelphia will do.
73. He who hesitates is last.
74. I go for two kinds of men. The kind with muscles, and the kind without.
75. So many men... so little time.
76. Too much of a good thing... can be wonderful.
77. Why don't you come on up and see me sometime.. when I've got nothin' on but the radio.
78. A man in love is like a clipped coupon - it's time to cash in.
79. Good sex is like good Bridge... If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
80. I don't like myself, I'm crazy about myself.
82. I'm the lady who works at Paramount all day... and Fox all night.
83. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
84. I've been rich and I've been poor... Believe me, rich is better.
85. I like my clothes to be tight enough to show I'm a woman... but loose enough to show I'm a lady.
86. You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction... but the second meeting shows up new angles.
87. You ought to get out of those wet clothes... and into a dry martini.
89. I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
90. I'm single because I was born that way.
92. Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes.
93. Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
94. I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.
95. Women like a man with a past, but they prefer a man with a present.
96. If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!
97. Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made was a flag.
98. You are never too old to become younger!
99 . I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them.
100. Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.
102. The curve is more powerful than the sword.
103. Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.
104. JUDGE: Are you trying to show contempt for this court?
MAE WEST: I was doin' my best to hide it.
105. Women with pasts interest men because they hope history will repeat itself.
106. An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.
107. Men are easy to get but hard to keep.
108. I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit.
109. Don't ever make the same mistake twice, unless it pays.
110. The best way to behave is to misbehave.
112. Don't come crawlin' to a man for love - he likes to get a run for his money.
113. Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide' em.
114. Some women pick men to marry - and others pick them to pieces.
115. Experience is by far the best teacher. You know, ever since I was a little girl I knew that if you look both ways when you cross the street, you'll see a lot more than traffic.
116. A man has more character in his face at forty than at twenty - he has suffered longer.
117. When you get the personality, you don't need the nudity.
118. Kiss and makeup - but too much makeup has ruined many a kiss.
119. No gold - digging for me…I take diamonds! We may be off the gold standard someday!
120. Oh, Miss West, I've heard so much about you. Mae West: Yeah, honey, but you can't prove a thing.
122. Life's just a merry-go-round. Come on up. You might get a brass ring.
123. It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect.
124. A girl in the convertible is worth five in the phone book.
125. Flattery will get you everywhere.
126. Some men are all right in their place - if they only knew the right places!
127. I feel like a million tonight. But one at a time.
128. Men? Sure, I've known lots of them. But I never found one I liked well enough to marry. Besides, I've always been busy with my work. Marriage is a career in itself and to make a success of it you've got to keep working at it. So until I can give the proper amount of time to marriage, I'll stay single.
129. Too many girls follow the line of least resistance - but a good line is hard to resist.
130. Diamonds is my career.
132. You can do what you want, but saving love doesn't bring any interest.
133. The best way to learn to be a lady is to see how other ladies do it.
134. Love is the only industry which can't operate on a five-day week.
135. Women want certain things in marriage - the right to a title and a front seat in the lap of luxury.
136. If you put your foot in it, be sure it's your best foot.
137. How do you do, Miss West?
Mae West: How do you do what?
138. I'd give half my life for just one kiss. Mae West: Then kiss me twice.
139. I don't know a lot about politics, but I can recognise a good party man when I see one.
140. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
141. My advice to those who think they have to take off their clothes to be a star is, once you're boned, what's left to create the illusion? Let 'em wonder. I never believed in givin' them too much of me.
142. A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
143. Success is a two-bladed golden sword; it knights one and stabs one at the same time.
144. Words should be used as tools of communication and not as a substitute for action.
145. I believe in the single standard for men and women.
146. When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.
147. A woman who pretends to laugh at love is like a child who sings at night when he is afraid.
Mae West: You must be awful tired.
149. - I can always tell a lady when I see one.
Mae West: Yeah? What do you tell 'em?
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